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@@ -5,6 +5,7 @@ I legally obtained a ham radio license on 2022-11-29.
 Here is a list of articles under this category.
 
 - [Joke CQ that somehow turned into a QSO](joke_cq)
+- [How Your Ham Radio Can Help You in Wartime](wartime)
 
 ## Glossary
 
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+# How Your Ham Radio Can Help You in Wartime
+
+2023-04-27
+
+_Note: This post is satirical. Please do not actually do this in a crisis.
+It is advised that you never do this in peacetime, either._
+
+The radio amateur is patriotic. As ham radio operators, we are prepared to
+fight for our country in case of invasion. What makes us different from
+ordinary people is our skills and equipment. Here is how they can help you
+in wartime.
+
+## ICOM 7300
+
+![Rectangular box with fancy front panel](img/wartime/7300.jpg)
+
+Few can match ICOM in build quality. This Japanese radio manufacturer is
+known to make products that last. Mere shockwaves and bulletshells simply
+cannot kill it. Solid as a rock, the ICOM 7300 is your perfect choice
+whenever you need some height, weight, or both. Can't jump because you
+lost a leg? No problem! Just step on your ICOM 7300, and get that aspirin
+in the medicine cabinet. Afraid that the nuclear shockwave might dismantle
+your tent? Just put four of them in the corners, and sleep like a baby
+— nothing's gonna blow away 15 kilograms today!
+
+## Yaesu FT5DR
+
+![Radio with a long antenna](img/wartime/ft5dr.jpg)
+
+Fabulous as it is, your trusty ICOM 7300 is not always there when you need
+it. Sometimes all you have is a portable radio, like the renowned Yaesu
+FT5DR.
+
+So how can the FT5DR help you at the face of an invader? It's simple, but
+requires a fair amount of agility and precision. If you ever find yourself
+cornered, install the antenna, grip the FT5DR firmly, and stab them. If
+you hit them at the right spot, they will bleed, and drop their weapon.
+This is your chance to escape.
+
+__Bonus point!__ The FT5DR is IPX7 waterproof, which ensures the blood of
+your enemy does not damage the inner circuit board.
+
+## Baofeng UV-5R
+
+![Radio with a black plastic chassis](img/wartime/uv5r.jpg)
+
+The UV-5R is a budget mobile transceiver, rated 5W and covering VHF and
+UHF bands. Priced at $20, it is truly one of the most affordable beginner
+models, and there exists plenty of documentation, including schematics.
+This makes it an ideal choice for crafting IEDs. Once you have your
+detonator set up, leave it on the doorsteps of your enemy and wait for the
+dynamite to blow up.
+
+Also, if you don't plan to make IEDs, the UV-5R makes a great flashlight.
+
+## Kenwood TS-890S
+
+![Wide radio box with a color LCD and lotta knobs](img/wartime/ts890s.jpg)
+
+We saved the best for the last. What makes Kenwood stand out among its
+competitors is its experience in not only ham radio, but also professional
+hi-fi audio and entertainment systems. It is a venerable company in all
+these markets.
+
+Kenwood makes hundreds of impressive products, and this model is no
+exception. It transmits over HF at 100W, operates on CW, RTTY and PSK, and
+has a fancy live spectrum monitor screen. Under ideal conditions, your
+signal can reach any corner of the world.
+
+When you find yourself direly injured and none of the therapies seem to
+work, your Kenwood TS-890S can help you. First, wipe the blood off your
+hand because you don't want a short circuit in any of the connectors.
+Then, go somewhere to die alone. You don't want your radio waves to draw
+hostile forces to your squadmates.
+
+Using the last minutes of your life, key out your callsign one last time.
+Your fingers might not be as swift, but your Kenwood compensates for it
+with near-perfect fidelity, even across continents. Broadcast your final
+message to the world over the air. Your friends will hear you. Your
+enemies will hear you. The intel agencies will hear you. People sitting in
+office chairs will not hear you, but if you try hard enough someone will
+complain to them about you. The message may consist of only a few words,
+such as "GM HR IS [your name] GOODBYE WORLD 73".
+
+## Purpose of this overcomplicated shitpost
+
+I once saw a similarly titled article written by a ham who took themselves
+too seriously. In a war, either enlist and use the army stuff (which is
+better quality than most amateur rig anyway), or be a civilian and shut
+the fuck up.
+
+You should never expose your location to invaders. Unfortunately, the
+antenna of a radio does exactly that. The only scenario where I would push
+the PTT button is if I fell into a hole, and radio is the only way out.
+Otherwise, there is absolutely no reason to help your enemy triangulate
+your air raid shelter.
+
+## Image credits
+
+- [Baofeng UV-5R](https://www.baofengradio.com/products/uv-5r)
+- [Yaesu FT5DR](https://www.gpscentral.ca/product/yaesu-ft5dr/)
+- [ICOM 7300](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01C95F56M)
+- [Kenwood TS-890S](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K1MHR48)