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-rw-r--r--docs/shitpost/index.md1
-rw-r--r--docs/shitpost/pokemon_sword.md45
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@@ -8,3 +8,4 @@ precious time you could've spent more wisely elsewhere:
- [Debunking the "fake moon landing" conspiracy theory](fake_moon_landing)
- [Haiku collection](haiku)
- [Rousseau and Schopenhauer walk into a bar](rousseau_and_schopenhauer)
+- [Extreme Boredom Has Driven Me Into Playing Pokemon Sword](pokemon_sword)
diff --git a/docs/shitpost/pokemon_sword.md b/docs/shitpost/pokemon_sword.md
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+# Extreme Boredom Has Driven Me Into Playing Pokemon Sword
+
+2022-03-13
+
+Context: Extreme boredom in quarantine has driven me into playing Pokemon
+Sword my cousin gave me last summer. Here are some quotes of mine as
+I progress.
+
+- "I wonder what PETA has to say about the Pokemon franchise"
+- "Haha die die die mfer"
+- "Huh, they're right, Scorbunny's face *really* does look like someone
+ just slapped on a piece of cheddar cheese"
+- "You are a fucking student. Why are you out here training your
+ pokemon?"
+- "NOOOO THIS IS A FUCKING MINE IDIOT THERE COULD BE FLAMMABLE GASES WHAT
+ THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU'RE A MINER YOU OUGHTTA KNOW THAT"
+- "You don't need to wear a surgery suit to convince me you're a doctor."
+- "Ugh, again?"
+- "Listen Yamper, you're a dog. Why do you have to learn how to bite"
+- "oh fucj all my pokemon are ded"
+- "hmm. perhaps i can train my pokemon in the wild until they reach lv 30
+ and ill be invincible"
+- "wait no that's boring"
+- "I should probably do some real work"
+- "Power plant for the entire Galar? No listen the carbon dioxide emission
+ from all the pokemon we have trained and all the dynamax shit has
+ probably exceeded the amount of the world's fossil fuel emissions
+ combined. You could save yourself a buttload of money and trouble if you
+ just stick to nuclear plants, solar panels and wind farms. Also, your
+ company really sounds like a scam."
+- "Don't solve with work what you can solve with money"
+- "Why is the prize always a multiple of 3?"
+- "Oh wait nvm this one's 2560"
+- "hhhhhh loot"
+- "Holy shit where'd the squirrel come from"
+- "Fuck you Bede"
+- "At least hire someone who's better at graffiti than you if you really
+ wanna vandalize the historical site so much"
+- "Oh wait Bede is a guy? I thought he was a granny who escaped from
+ a home for the retired"
+- "WHY ARE WE COMPETING HERE DIDNT YOU JUST SAY THIS IS A FUCKING
+ HISTORICAL SITE"
+- "Wait... not a single move by my opponent's pokemon hurts my Pancham by
+ more than 10HP" *proceeds to heal all my other pokemon while opponent
+ tirelessly blow useless gas at Pancham*