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diff --git a/docs/random/2024-04-05.md b/docs/random/2024-04-05.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..be1919f --- /dev/null +++ b/docs/random/2024-04-05.md @@ -0,0 +1,404 @@ +# 2024-04-05 + +Written 2024-04-06 + +Yesterday I: + +- Bought a bicycle +- Attended a fairy tale discussion +- Went to an iDKHOW concert + +Each of these deserves its permanent record so I'm writing it right here. + +## Bicycle Deal + +### Craigslist + +In March I was tempted to buy a bicycle. Reasons: + +- My 373 project is related to cycling +- I'm bored of walking all the time +- Cycling is an excuse of not going to the gym + +I tried my roommate's bicycle earlier; it was rusty and the tires were +flat. Honestly I have no idea how strong his legs are if he actually +managed to propel this megatron of a bike. I asked him where he got it, +and he said craigslist. He met the seller outside Panda Express, north +campus, and paid $85. + +There were three bikes on craigslist I was interested in: a mountain bike, +a road bike, and a cruiser. The road bike is slightly cheaper, but the +wheels seem too narrow to handle any adverse weather. + +I reached out to Ed (W8EMV) on fedi for advice. He recommended mountain +bikes and told me about a bike repair co-op. + +So on 2024-03-20, I shot an email to the seller of the mountain bike. It +was a Schwinn listed at $95. He responded the next day. + +(Shoutout to craigslist for not requiring an account. The entire +conversation was done via email.) + +I told him I don't have a car so I prefer to meet somewhere walkable from +me. We agreed on Kroger. We originally had planned to meet at the weekend +(2024-03-30 and -31) but my landlord decided the immediate Monday +(2024-04-01) was a good time to rip off the carpet and install some kind +of vinyl floor. Besides, I bought a U-lock on ebay and it's not here till +Monday. + +We postponed the trade to 2024-04-05. + +### The trade + +I showed up 20 minutes too early, so I entered Kroger to buy a small +amount of groceries. The seller, Chris, arrived at 09:15 and brought me to +his car, from which he unmounted the bike. + +Chris drove here from Grand Rapids, and is on his way to Detroit to see +something related to the Detroit Tigers. I told him I was going to Detroit +the same evening as well, to St. Andrew's Hall. + +He bought the bike for his son originally, but he never really rode it. +"Bad for him, good for me," I said. + +I heard dogs barking. He explained that it was his two dogs in carriers. + +I asked him if he trusted me to give the bike a test ride around the +parking lot. He said yes, so that's what I did. He just sat back in his +car. + +The bike was like the smoothest thing I've ever rode. The brakes work +perfectly. The tires were full, there was almost no defect, functional or +cosmetic. Say no more, I'm taking this baby. + +I opened my wallet and counted 90 dollars. He stopped me right there. He +said, "It's good. Go buy yourself something to eat." + +And that is how I got an almost new bike for $90. + +### The lock + +After I got the bike, the plan was: + +- Ride directly to north campus +- Lock bike to campus bike rack +- Attend lab +- Ride home and lock to apartment bike rack + +But the lock was delayed. It _was_ in Detroit; then somehow it went to +Alabama. I had to ride home and carry it to my bedroom, before walking to +the lab. + +## Fairy tale discussion + +The topic was Romanticism. I wasn't a fan of this topic because it's not +super relatable. + +Romanticism was born as a critical response to the Enlightenment, or the +age of reason. Contrary to the science and rationality of Enlightenment, +Romanticism focused on the spiritual: human emotions, especially the +negative ones, called the "Nachtseite" (night side). + +We discussed the Byronic hero, who is sick of the rational and feels +wanderlust, melancholy, misanthropy, and alienation. + +We were asked to come up with examples in popular media. Mine was Jesus of +Suburbia, the protagonist of Green Day's _American Idiot_ (2004) who +escapes the suburbs to seek a new life in the city. Eventually, he finds +nothing and comes back home. Notable examples of Romantic emotion: + +- "American Idiot": misanthropy. He is disgusted by a society "controlled + by the media". Also the word "alienation" is literally in the chorus. +- "Jesus of Suburbia": wanderlust. The whole song the titular character + curses society for its faults, which builds up to his final decision to + leave home to find what he believes. +- "Are We the Waiting" and "Whatsername": melancholy. Just… listen to it. + +My professor, Laura Okkema, relates to the Byronic hero, from her +experience of being alienated in American family gatherings. When I heard +it I just treated it as a light-hearted story. Big mistake; read on. + +## iDKHOW + +### Timeline + +- 15:50 - I board the D2A2 bus at Blake Transit Center, Ann Arbor +- 16:00 - The bus departs +- 16:10 - I saw some cows +- 16:50 - The bus arrives at Grand Circus Park, Detroit +- 17:15 - I queue up in a parking lot behind St. Andrew's Hall* +- 19:20 - I finally get into the venue +- 20:00 - The opening act [Farhall](https://farhallmusic.com/) performs +- 21:00 - iDKHOW performs +- 22:30 - Show ends +- 22:55 - I board the bus back to AA +- 23:05 - The bus departs +- 23:55 - The bus arrives at BTC +- 00:?? - I board the Bursley-Baits bus from CCTC to Bursley +- 00:30 - I come home + +\* Note: the venue is technically The Shelter, part of SAH + +### Waiting outside + +From 17:15 to 19:20, I waited outside. There were 20 or so people in the +line. A bunch of Detroit Tigers fans were vibing in a big tent nearby, in +a parking lot. The DJ put on some really loud hip hop. + +I like hip hop. But the TR-808 was nonstop, and the synth bass was +indistinguishable from seismic waves. If you know me, I like dynamics, and +loud music for two hours is not dynamic. I hope they're having fun because +I sure am not. + +I scanned the crowd. There were around 100 people, and probably one third +of them wore some sort of merch. A handful had VIP badges, and stood in +a different lane. I'm cool with that. + +At one random moment Dallon (iDKHOW's only permanent member rn) walked out +of nowhere and the crowd cheered. + +A guy stood behind me. His name is Andy and is from MSU, a graduate +student in physics, doing nucleus stuff. He discovered the band in the +pandemic and just randomly found out they were touring last month, so he +bought a ticket. I wish I could afford resale tickets that's like 5x the +face value. + +He's totally chill, just having a casual Friday evening. He's not like +other fans. He did not know what the band's prior album is called. And +that's ok; I hate gatekeeping. + +I forgot to have my ticket ready at the entrance, so I wasted five minutes +and ~20 people got ahead of me. As a consequence, I lost Andy and was +forced to spend the rest of the show alone. + +### Waiting inside + +Inside the venue a merch stall sold overpriced T-shirts and jackets. +I didn't bust my wallet. I headed to the restroom. The urinator was a wide +tub of ice (?) and apparently you can piss in it??? + +So anyway I joined the pit. It was dim af but there was something worse. + +Music. + +Music was blasting through all the loudspeakers. It was again nonstop, +crossfading into one another. I absolutely hate the vibes. The worst part +is the song that sampled a revolver. It goes like: + +> *barrel roll* bang bang bang +> *barrel roll* bang bang bang + +On the other hand, one could argue that the song is, quite literally, +fire. + +If I made music, the worst thing you could do with it is play it before +a show. I've never heard of it. It's not live. I did not consent to it. +Good songs become mediocre and average songs become shit. + +I put on my earplugs. + +### Farhall + +The Benches, who were supposed to open for iDKHOW, were sick so Farhall +came last minute. Their voice is beautiful but unfortunately I was unable +to make out the lyrics. Genre-wise, it's indie pop. + +### iDKHOW + +After another forty minutes of miserable waiting, iDKHOW's touring members +came up stage followed by Dallon. They opened with a rather interesting +choice: "SPKOTHDVL" (speak of the devil), not a lead single. The first +line is "Your front page boy is finally here". Yeah Dallon sure you are. + +The new record is titled _GLOOM DIVISION_ and there were explicit songs, +topic or lyrics. It was the first time he sang "fuck" and "bitch", and one +song was literally about sex. About three times at the show he advised the +audience below 25 to "cover your ears". lmao I'm wearing earplugs. + +Little by little I pulled out the earplugs because I can't hear the crowd +and it blocked high frequencies. I removed them during my favorite songs, +and put them halfway back in during others. + +My favorite song played live is ["A +Letter"](https://thebrobecks.bandcamp.com/track/a-letter), written before +iDKHOW's formation, when Dallon was in the band The Brobecks. He said it +was the band's "least popular song" if you look at the numbers. But he +added it was the best. I agree. + +He split the crowd in half and instructed both sides to harmonize. He said +it was like church. It was indeed majestic. + +In the middle of "Visitation of the Ghost", also a Brobecks song, he split +an aisle and walked down the middle while the crowd repeated the line "oh +my lord, lord lord lord". I'm an atheist so the one I was referring to was +actually the New Zealand singer. + +Generally, the crowd knew the lyrics to older songs better, and I'm guilty +of that. + +Dallon casually admitted to sampling a car horn in the ending track, +"iDIOTS OF Oz". We have achieved peak [xkcd #780](https://xkcd.com/780/). + +### The cringeworthy story of my PCBs + +Warning: this story is cringe. If we ever meet in person, even if we're +friends, you are _not allowed_ to bring up this story. + +<details markdown="1"> +<summary>You have been warned</summary> + +Last month I trained myself to use the Bantam CNC. I milled [9 iDKHOW +logos on a PCB](../projects/idkhow-pcb.md) and announced on Reddit that +I would be happy to give them out. + +Only one person replied they would be coming. I told them my clothing and +location, but they were late. So I just stood there surrounded by +strangers, snatching the ziploc in my hand, hoping someone asks me what +they are. + +Do you identify my fatal mistake? Yes — PCBs are a novel souvenir and I am +not socially competent enough to just hand them out to strangers. My nerd +brain had assumed that everyone would be dazzled by the beauty of copper, +but everyone was just minding their own business. + +The problem was the fucking hip hop DJ. If there were no loud music, +I could have made a conversation in a break of silence. But in retrospect, +there is no evidence that I could pull that off. + +The real issue is they came in pairs, even groups, and they're constantly +talking. I could not join their clique, or it wouldn't be a clique. + +I tried Andy, who also came alone. He wasn't interested, and it would be +offensive to force anyone to take it. So I put them back in my pocket. +I was like sure, why not hand it out inside? It should be quiet there. + +NOPE + +I tried a guy next to me. I said "hey man, may I interest you with some +souvenir?" And he was like "no I'm good". + +At this very moment I have fucked up. I sounded like a shady tour guide. +There is no convenient way in the English language to express a lack of +profit incentive, without building implicit trust with the person. That +takes time and conversation, but again the loud music forbids it. So fuck +you, music-through-the-loudspeaker-blaster. + +After the opening act was done, a dad who was the guardian for his +daughter approached me to ask me whether I enjoyed it. I was compelled to +say yes. And as if it wasn't awkward enough, I offered my PCB. + +I said, "Oh that reminds me, you can have one of these. I made them +myself." + +He declined without even looking at them. And that was the correct choice. + +I was a stranger. And the default option, when meeting a stranger, is to +not accept anything. + +Hey, can you bring back the revolver song? Because I want to die. + +All I wanted, at that point in time, is to get rid of the ziploc. Even +flushing it in the toilet would bring me relief. But copper and fiberglass +do not belong in residential sewage. + +Basically I tried to drag myself as far away from the two people I talked +to as possible, but it was so crowded I could hardly move. So I was pinned +in this awkward location the entire show. + +It was distilled alienation. + +I admitted defeat and carried the ziploc back home. Every time I lay my +eyes on it, it incites violent thoughts. + +It's the Nachtseite. +</details> + +### The Nachtseite + +On my way home, I sent this email to my professor. + +>Hi Laura, +> +>I'm back from the Detroit show. This is the first live music event I ever +>attended outside campus. The one and a half hour where they actually +>performed was fire, so you can be assured I'm ok. +> +>But the four hours of waiting was traumatic. I was one of the few who +>came alone. I had imagined music would "bring us all together", but they +>had their own cliques and there was no humanly possible way to tap into +>a conversation without coming off as cringe. I feel alienated. +> +>The venue tortured my ears with music. Not bad, just unnecessarily loud. +>At one point I wished I could trace back to the studio to physically +>slash the drumhead. I feel misanthropy. +> +>At first I pretended to have a good time, but soon I stopped bothering. +>Bored (the irony is that their closing track is called "Boring") and +>wishing to teleport somewhere else. I feel melancholy *and* wanderlust. +> +>Clearly I've felt the Nachtseite (again ironically, they played a song +>called "Sunnyside"). It seems like I'm the Byronic romanticist hero, but +>as the show began, I returned to rationality because I know what is going +>on. Emotionally I'm not attached to the band and their early songs, and +>it feels like I'm the Clara in the room. +> +>Perhaps whether someone is a romanticist or enlightenment-ist can change +>depending on circumstance? Or, one could be both, at the same moment? +> +>also I'm having tinnitus. +> +>Yours, +>Frederick Yin + +Note: Clara is a character in ETA Hoffmann's "The Sandman". She is always +rational in the story. + +This email was composed partly on the bus, and partly at home. + +### Trip back home + +The hip hop was still on when my show ended. I took a detour on Broadway +but still made it on time. At Grand Circus Park, an old man asked me if +I knew any ATMs nearby as he didn't have a phone. I was cautious of my +possessions as I took out my phone to look at the maps. So that's what +it's like to be approached by a stranger. I fully realized the cringe of +my actions earlier, and I understand why they reacted this way. + +I told him there's a PNC ATM at Broadway + John R. + +Once everyone was on the bus, the bus driver warned us not to use the +bathroom, despite his best effort to disinfect it. I do not wish to see +what's inside. + +## The dream + +At home I took a shower and went to bed. + +I dreamed of riding my new bicycle all around the town. I shifted gears at +will. It was… surprisingly real, although I seemed to have remembered the +numbers backwards. There was an uphill road where I had to get off and +push the bike. But for the rest of my aimless journey, I rode as fast as +the wind. + +I woke up as though I had rode perhaps 10 kilometers. But in reality, I've +rode less than two. Is this wanderlust? + +## Conclusion + +- Thanks Chris for the trust and saving me 5 dollars +- Fuck you USPS for sending my lock to Alabama +- Can't believe how long I waited +- Constant loud music is torture +- Please stop playing songs with gunshots +- Waiting for a show alone is peak alienation +- Thanks Andy for making this slightly better +- Sorry Laura I know what it feels like to be the Byronic hero now +- Don't devote time on things nobody asked for +- Earplugs are useful +- I've crossed out another one of my [life goals](life_goals.md), despite + great pains +- I will probably never go to an iDKHOW show ever again +- I hope you found the ATM, random person +- I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike +- I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like +- Oh the lock is here? diff --git a/docs/random/index.md b/docs/random/index.md index 0d165b8..34cf6b7 100644 --- a/docs/random/index.md +++ b/docs/random/index.md @@ -20,3 +20,4 @@ Nevertheless, occasionally I leave a permanent trace along the way. - [Of Potato Chips And Food Globalization](potato_chips.md) - [2 Bugs 1 Day](2bugs1day.md) - [Shenzhen I/O Game Review](shenzhen_io_review.md) +- [2024-04-05](2024-04-05.md) |