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diff --git a/docs/furry/mosfet-an-interview.md b/docs/furry/mosfet-an-interview.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f47cf45 --- /dev/null +++ b/docs/furry/mosfet-an-interview.md @@ -0,0 +1,206 @@ +# Mosfet: An Interview + +2024-09-09 + +> Per responsible blogging practices, I am obligated to tell you that this +> is not an actual interview that happened. But for the following five +> minutes please pretend it did. + +> The depiction of Rix in this blogpost is fictional, and has been +> verbally approved by Rix. + +ANN ARBOR, MI — Frederick, a UMich student, recently declared himself +"furry" and unveiled his very first fursona, Mosfet, as a result of +a successful marketing campaign by the Anthro Art Association (AAA). + +Frederick is a senior student in computer engineering. His fursona — an +anthropomorphic animal alter ego, in furry-speak — is called Mosfet, a cat +with no specific duties. + +We reached out to Frederick and Mosfet for an interview. However, they +requested two separate sessions, quoting "no one has seen us in the same +room". + +## Interview with Mosfet + +Despite his introversion, we bribed Mosfet with an Airheads and managed to +arrange an interview. + +Q. Can you tell us how you were created, Mosfet? + +A. Well, I wasn't. A common misconception is that I was born the moment +Fred hit "Save". That's not true. Actually I've been around since 2022, +but Fred just seemed to be in denial until now. + +Q. What made him accept you as his fursona? + +A. I don't know (laughs). I just remember earlier this year when Fred +asked me if I was okay being a black cat. I said sure, I spent two years +as an amorphous blob of consciousness in his head like a hermit +\*\*\*\*ing crab, I'll take whatever you have. + +Q. Do you know why Frederick named you Mosfet? + +A. He's a \*\*\*\*ing nerd. It's unique, I like it. + +Q. Do you have any nicknames? + +A. Yeah, "Mos" is okay. + +Q. Does anyone ever call you "Metal-Oxide-Semiconductor Field Effect +Transistor"? + +A. I'm impressed you said that in one breath, but no. + +Q. Any words of advice for other fursonas out there? + +A. If you're ever asked a question you'd rather not answer, you can just +act like a stupid kitty. + +Q. Wouldn't that be less effective for other species? + +A. Meow. + +Q. (Checks clock) Thank you, Mosfet, for being with us today, we greatly +appreciate. + +A. (Chewing Airheads) [unintelligible] + +## Interview with Frederick + +Compared to Mosfet, Frederick was more enthusiastic for an interview, but +still tried to fish some benefits out of us. We gifted him a $5 LCSC +coupon. + +Q. Frederick, we are very interested in your decision to become a furry. +Would you like to share your story? + +A. It wasn't my decision. It was entirely Rix's fault. + +(Clears throat) The story begins in August. I was chilling in Duderstadt, +first floor collab area, doing human things. Then I noticed a poster on +the wall. + + + +(Editor's note: we searched through Frederick's camera while he was in the +bathroom and found the poster he was talking about) + +I was like "holy \*\*\*\* no \*\*\*\*\*\*\* way that's a furry!!1!" As +I stepped closer, Rix's menacing stare penetrated into my soul. The slogan +goes, "I want YOU for the furry club", because you can always count on +Americans to come up with creative slogans after the WWI. + +Nevertheless, it worked. It was apparently a carefully orchestrated scheme +of mind control to make me furry, and with just a glimpse at the poster, +I've fallen right in their trap. + +In the next few days, Rix's curse took a grip hold of my life. I could not +stop thinking about furries: on the bus, in the classroom, even in bed; +into their paws I have commended my spirit. + +It was Wednesday when I lost all control of my body — I was a puppet, all +my bones and muscles held hostage by the furries — they pushed me aboard +a wicked wagon, the so-called Kommuter Sauth — it drove me to the +Zentralercampustransitszentrum, not far from which Festifall was held. + +I recognized him in an instant — he was more fluffy than the poster had +shown, and extremely cute — but the sweetest snout has the sharpest tooth, +for he hath rabies! He bit me right in my neck — next thing I knew, +I became a furry, for the furriotoxin has infiltrated my bloodstream. + +Q. Wait, what's furriotoxin? + +A. It's a toxin that makes you furry. Have you watched zombie movies? It's +like that. There is no cure. + +Q. (Sighs) You're making things up, Fred. + +A. Ask a biologist, it's a real thing. + +Q. …Fine. Could you spell "furriotoxin"? + +A. Furri with an i, o, toxin. + +Q. When did you hear about furries for the first time? + +A. In high school, while perusing the xkcd archive, I saw this comic about +furries pretending to be humans and another about someone with a squirrel +sona getting bullied. (Editor's note: [xkcd +629](https://www.xkcd.com/629/) and [xkcd 471](https://www.xkcd.com/471/)) +I was in China so I was like "OK that's an American thing then". + +Q. And how did you get into them? + +A. There was a time when I was really into cats, especially on the +internet. I still am. And then I developed a craving for Blåhaj, the IKEA +shark, so I bought one. + +Guess what's real popular among furries? Blåhaj _and_ cats. If you follow +these hashtags, you will, sooner or later, meet a furry. They posted +fursuits, commissions, conventions, big juicy succulent di— + +Q. Sir, this is a family-friendly publication. + +A. —nners! What the \*\*\*\* are you thinking about! + +Q. Sorry. Please go on. + +A. One really interesting sighting of a furry was on my high school new +year livestream. Dude was playing violin while his fursuit head was just +on the windowsill. I think he's in college now. But still, I never saw +a furry in real life for a long time. + +Q. When did you see the first furry then? + +A. It was September 2023 I think, I just got here and I was at a drag show +on Central Campus. There were two furries chilling around Angell Hall, +I was like "huh" and two months later on Halloween four furries popped +into the 370 classroom and I was like "HUH". Mark (editor's note: Dr. Mark +Brehob) grabbed a photo of them. There was Takio (editor's note: fursona +name) who showed up on Festifall as well. + +Q. Truly an inspiring story. Now that we've learned about you, let's talk +about Mosfet a little bit. What's his personality like? + +A. He's a menace to society. Rebellious, chaotic, but kinda stupid, +because sometimes ignorance is bliss. But on the other hand he's also very +emotional so I don't have to. He's got some, uh, insecurities. + +Q. Was it by design, or was it by accident? + +A. It's not really his fault. His biggest insecurity is being unloved, so +he tries very hard to prove himself even if he doesn't need to. Probably +got it from me back in the days. He's good enough, I'm proud of him. + +Q. (Checks clock) I think we're running out of time, so let's do a rapid +fire round. Are you planning to get a fursuit? + +A. Not any time soon, \*\*\*\*'s too expensive. + +Q. Name three things Mosfet likes. + +A. Salmon, heavy metal, cuddles. + +Q. Three things he hates? + +A. Sparkling water, roller coasters, gym class. + +Q. His favorite band? + +A. System Of A Down. + +Q. That tracks. Next question: Did you watch _Zootopia_? + +A. Yes. + +Q. Did Nick Wilde influence you in any way? + +A. No comment. + +Q. Well, Frederick, thank you for being with us today and sharing so much +about you and Mosfet. + +A. And thank you for having me. |