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|
# Mosfet: An Interview
2024-09-08
> Per responsible blogging practices, I am obligated to tell you that this
> is not an actual interview that happened. But for the following five
> minutes please pretend it did.
> The depiction of Rix in this blogpost is fictional, and has been
> verbally approved by Rix.
ANN ARBOR, MI — Frederick, a UMich student, recently declared himself
"furry" and unveiled his very first fursona, Mosfet, as a result of
a successful marketing campaign by the Anthro Art Association (AAA).
Frederick is a senior student in computer engineering. His fursona — an
anthropomorphic animal alter ego, in furry-speak — is called Mosfet, a cat
with no specific duties.
We reached out to Frederick and Mosfet for an interview. However, they
requested two separate sessions, quoting "no one has seen us in the same
room".
## Interview with Mosfet
Despite his introversion, we bribed Mosfet with an Airheads and managed to
arrange an interview.
Q. Can you tell us how you were created, Mosfet?
A. Well, I wasn't. A common misconception is that I was born the moment
Fred hit "Save". That's not true. Actually I've been around since 2022,
but Fred just seemed to be in denial until now.
Q. What made him accept you as his fursona?
A. I don't know (laughs). I just remember earlier this year when Fred
asked me if I was okay being a black cat. I said sure, I spent two years
as an amorphous blob of consciousness in his head like a hermit
\*\*\*\*ing crab, I'll take whatever you have.
Q. Do you know why Frederick named you Mosfet?
A. He's a \*\*\*\*ing nerd. It's unique, I like it.
Q. Do you have any nicknames?
A. Yeah, "Mos" is okay.
Q. Does anyone ever call you "Metal-Oxide-Semiconductor Field Effect
Transistor"?
A. I'm impressed you said that in one breath, but no.
Q. Any words of advice for other fursonas out there?
A. If you're ever asked a question you'd rather not answer, you can just
act like a stupid kitty.
Q. Wouldn't that be less effective for other species?
A. Meow.
Q. (Checks clock) Thank you, Mosfet, for being with us today, we greatly
appreciate.
A. (Chewing Airheads) [unintelligible]
## Interview with Frederick
Compared to Mosfet, Frederick was more enthusiastic for an interview, but
still tried to fish some benefits out of us. We gifted him a $5 LCSC
coupon.
Q. Frederick, we are very interested in your decision to become a furry.
Would you like to share your story?
A. It wasn't my decision. It was entirely Rix's fault.
Q. Would you care to elaborate?
A. OK, you know Duderstadt? The North Campus library thing. It was August,
completely normal day. I was chilling on a table between the design labs,
doing human things.
Then I noticed a poster on the wall. I was like "holy \*\*\*\* no way
that's a furry" and took a closer look. You bet your sweet \*\*\* it was
Rix's \*\*\*\*\*\* head. It says "I want YOU for the furry club" because
Americans are extremely creative. But things were not so simple. It was
apparently a carefully orchestrated plan to make me furry, and by looking
at the poster, I've fallen right in their trap.
The furries have mastered telepathic mind control. In the next few days,
Rix's curse took a grip hold of my life. I could not stop thinking about
furries: on the bus, in the classroom, even in bed, like there was no past
nor future, only the present in an eternity of furries. He hath me
enchanted, ye gods, he hath me possessed!
On Wednesday, I lost all control of my body — I was like a puppet under
his manipulation, all my bones and muscles — they took me on a Commuter
South, which drove me to Festifall, where they showed their true forms on
booth A24.
Under mind control, I struck a conversation and asked for a photo with
Rix. He bit me in the neck, 'tis but a sting; little did I know that he
has rabies, good heavens! I figure he must've given me furriotoxin, and
that's how I became furry.
Q. That's such a wonderful story, but what's furriotoxin?
A. It's a toxin that makes you furry. Have you watched zombie movies? It's
like that. There is no cure.
Q. (Sighs) You're making things up, Fred.
A. Ask a biologist, it's a real thing.
Q. …Fine. Could you spell "furriotoxin"?
A. Furri with an i, o, toxin.
Q. When did you hear about furries for the first time?
A. In high school, while perusing the xkcd archive, I saw this comic about
furries pretending to be humans and another about someone with a squirrel
sona getting bullied. (Editor's note: [xkcd
629](https://www.xkcd.com/629/) and [xkcd 471](https://www.xkcd.com/471/))
I was in China so I was like "OK that's an American thing then".
Q. And how did you get into them?
A. There was a time when I was really into cats, especially on the
internet. I still am. And then I developed a craving for Blåhaj, the IKEA
shark, so I bought one.
Guess what's real popular among furries? Blåhaj _and_ cats. If you follow
these hashtags, you will, sooner or later, meet a furry. They posted
fursuits, commissions, conventions, big juicy succulent di—
Q. Sir, this is a family-friendly publication.
A. —nners! What the \*\*\*\* are you thinking about!
Q. Sorry. Please go on.
A. One really interesting sighting of a furry was on my high school new
year livestream. Dude was playing violin while his fursuit head was just
on the windowsill. I think he's in college now. But still, I never saw
a furry in real life for a long time.
Q. When did you see the first furry then?
A. It was September 2023 I think, I just got here and I was at a drag show
on Central Campus. There were two furries chilling around Angell Hall,
I was like "huh" and two months later on Halloween four furries popped
into the 370 classroom and I was like "HUH". Mark (editor's note: Dr. Mark
Brehob) grabbed a photo of them. There was Takio (editor's note: fursona
name) who showed up on Festifall as well.
Q. Truly an inspiring story. Now that we've learned about you, let's talk
about Mosfet a little bit. What's his personality like?
A. He's a menace to society. Rebellious, chaotic, but kinda stupid,
because sometimes ignorance is bliss. But on the other hand he's also very
emotional so I don't have to. He's got some, uh, insecurities.
Q. Was it by design, or was it by accident?
A. It's not really his fault. His biggest insecurity is being unloved, so
he tries very hard to prove himself even if he doesn't need to. Probably
got it from me back in the days. He's good enough, I'm proud of him.
Q. (Checks clock) I think we're running out of time, so let's do a rapid
fire round. Are you planning to get a fursuit?
A. Not any time soon, \*\*\*\*'s too expensive.
Q. Name three things Mosfet likes.
A. Salmon, heavy metal, cuddles.
Q. Three things he hates?
A. Cilantro, roller coasters, gym class.
Q. His favorite band?
❚
A. System Of A Down.
Q. That tracks. Next question: Did you watch _Zootopia_?
A. Yes.
Q. Did Nick Wilde influence you in any way?
A. No comment.
Q. Well, Frederick, thank you for being with us today and sharing so much
about you and Mosfet.
A. And thank you for having me.
|
