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|
# Mosfet: An Interview
2024-09-09
> Per responsible blogging practices, I am obligated to tell you that this
> is not an actual interview that happened. But for the following five
> minutes please pretend it did.
> The depiction of Rix in this blogpost is fictional, and has been
> verbally approved by Rix.
ANN ARBOR, MI — Frederick, a UMich student, recently declared himself
"furry" and unveiled his very first fursona, Mosfet, as a result of
a successful marketing campaign by the Anthro Art Association (AAA).
Frederick is a senior student in computer engineering. His fursona — an
anthropomorphic animal alter ego, in furry-speak — is called Mosfet, a cat
with no specific duties.
We reached out to Frederick and Mosfet for an interview. However, they
requested two separate sessions, quoting "no one has seen us in the same
room".
## Interview with Mosfet
Despite his introversion, we bribed Mosfet with an Airheads and managed to
arrange an interview.
Q. Can you tell us how you were created, Mosfet?
A. Well, I wasn't. A common misconception is that I was born the moment
Fred hit "Save". That's not true. Actually I've been around since 2022,
but Fred just seemed to be in denial until now.
Q. What made him accept you as his fursona?
A. I don't know (laughs). I just remember earlier this year when Fred
asked me if I was okay being a black cat. I said sure, I spent two years
as an amorphous blob of consciousness in his head like a hermit
\*\*\*\*ing crab, I'll take whatever you have.
Q. Do you know why Frederick named you Mosfet?
A. He's a \*\*\*\*ing nerd. It's unique, I like it.
Q. Do you have any nicknames?
A. Yeah, "Mos" is okay.
Q. Does anyone ever call you "Metal-Oxide-Semiconductor Field Effect
Transistor"?
A. I'm impressed you said that in one breath, but no.
Q. Any words of advice for other fursonas out there?
A. If you're ever asked a question you'd rather not answer, you can just
act like a stupid kitty.
Q. Wouldn't that be less effective for other species?
A. Meow.
Q. (Checks clock) Thank you, Mosfet, for being with us today, we greatly
appreciate.
A. (Chewing Airheads) [unintelligible]
## Interview with Frederick
Compared to Mosfet, Frederick was more enthusiastic for an interview, but
still tried to fish some benefits out of us. We gifted him a $5 LCSC
coupon.
Q. Frederick, we are very interested in your decision to become a furry.
Would you like to share your story?
A. It wasn't my decision. It was entirely Rix's fault.
(Clears throat) The story begins in August. I was chilling in Duderstadt,
first floor collab area, doing human things. Then I noticed a poster on
the wall.
(Editor's note: we searched through Frederick's camera while he was in the
bathroom and found the poster he was talking about)
I was like "holy \*\*\*\* no \*\*\*\*\*\*\* way that's a furry!!1!" As
I stepped closer, Rix's menacing stare penetrated into my soul. The slogan
goes, "I want YOU for the furry club", because you can always count on
Americans to come up with creative slogans after the WWI.
Nevertheless, it worked. It was apparently a carefully orchestrated scheme
of mind control to make me furry, and with just a glimpse at the poster,
I've fallen right in their trap.
In the next few days, Rix's curse took a grip hold of my life. I could not
stop thinking about furries: on the bus, in the classroom, even in bed;
into their paws I have commended my spirit.
It was Wednesday when I lost all control of my body — I was a puppet, all
my bones and muscles held hostage by the furries — they pushed me aboard
a wicked wagon, the so-called Kommuter Sauth — it drove me to the
Zentralercampustransitszentrum, not far from which Festifall was held.
I recognized him in an instant — he was more fluffy than the poster had
shown, and extremely cute — but the sweetest snout has the sharpest tooth,
for he hath rabies! He bit me right in my neck — next thing I knew,
I became a furry, for the furriotoxin has infiltrated my bloodstream.
Q. Wait, what's furriotoxin?
A. It's a toxin that makes you furry. Have you watched zombie movies? It's
like that. There is no cure.
Q. (Sighs) You're making things up, Fred.
A. Ask a biologist, it's a real thing.
Q. …Fine. Could you spell "furriotoxin"?
A. Furri with an i, o, toxin.
Q. When did you hear about furries for the first time?
A. In high school, while perusing the xkcd archive, I saw this comic about
furries pretending to be humans and another about someone with a squirrel
sona getting bullied. (Editor's note: [xkcd
629](https://www.xkcd.com/629/) and [xkcd 471](https://www.xkcd.com/471/))
I was in China so I was like "OK that's an American thing then".
Q. And how did you get into them?
A. There was a time when I was really into cats, especially on the
internet. I still am. And then I developed a craving for Blåhaj, the IKEA
shark, so I bought one.
Guess what's real popular among furries? Blåhaj _and_ cats. If you follow
these hashtags, you will, sooner or later, meet a furry. They posted
fursuits, commissions, conventions, big juicy succulent di—
Q. Sir, this is a family-friendly publication.
A. —nners! What the \*\*\*\* are you thinking about!
Q. Sorry. Please go on.
A. One really interesting sighting of a furry was on my high school new
year livestream. Dude was playing violin while his fursuit head was just
on the windowsill. I think he's in college now. But still, I never saw
a furry in real life for a long time.
Q. When did you see the first furry then?
A. It was September 2023 I think, I just got here and I was at a drag show
on Central Campus. There were two furries chilling around Angell Hall,
I was like "huh" and two months later on Halloween four furries popped
into the 370 classroom and I was like "HUH". Mark (editor's note: Dr. Mark
Brehob) grabbed a photo of them. There was Takio (editor's note: fursona
name) who showed up on Festifall as well.
Q. Truly an inspiring story. Now that we've learned about you, let's talk
about Mosfet a little bit. What's his personality like?
A. He's a menace to society. Rebellious, chaotic, but kinda stupid,
because sometimes ignorance is bliss. But on the other hand he's also very
emotional so I don't have to. He's got some, uh, insecurities.
Q. Was it by design, or was it by accident?
A. It's not really his fault. His biggest insecurity is being unloved, so
he tries very hard to prove himself even if he doesn't need to. Probably
got it from me back in the days. He's good enough, I'm proud of him.
Q. (Checks clock) I think we're running out of time, so let's do a rapid
fire round. Are you planning to get a fursuit?
A. Not any time soon, \*\*\*\*'s too expensive.
Q. Name three things Mosfet likes.
A. Salmon, heavy metal, cuddles.
Q. Three things he hates?
A. Sparkling water, roller coasters, gym class.
Q. His favorite band?
A. System Of A Down.
Q. That tracks. Next question: Did you watch _Zootopia_?
A. Yes.
Q. Did Nick Wilde influence you in any way?
A. No comment.
Q. Well, Frederick, thank you for being with us today and sharing so much
about you and Mosfet.
A. And thank you for having me.
|
