path: root/docs/shitpost/fedi_shitpost_2.md

# Fedi Shitpost Compilation 2

A sequel to [Fedi Shitpost Compilation](./fedi_shitpost.md)

(Typesetting notes: if the first line is __bold__, then it is a mastodon
feature called "content warning"; clicking it expands the rest of the
post.)

## 2024-07-25

__what do you call a keyboard on a watergun?__

squirty qwerty

## 2024-08-10

i had a dream I worked as a consultant for a company called the New Jersey
Knife Company 💀💀💀

## 2024-08-14

assigned australian at perth

## 2024-08-17

I dreamt that the gay community invented a metric called "time not spent
on looking for boy companionship" and youd be publicly shamed if it's too
high

## 2024-08-27

furry ham operators ending contact be like

colon three

## 2024-08-30

yall lied to me this is not shikanokonokonoko koshitantan

[Attached: System Of A Down - Deer Dance (Official Audio)]

## 2024-09-03

__misheard lyrics__

🎵 yeeeeeting seeeats is a pastime activityyyy 🎵

## 2024-09-05

__what do you call a color that doesn't exist?__

a pigment of your imagination

## 2024-09-06

:blobcatno: cooking spaghetti

:blobcatyes: waiting for libpasta to compile

## 2024-09-06

__Barbie's bf lost his job in new jersey.__

he's now Hoboken.

## 2024-09-07

__furry convention name idea__

hotel caniformia

## 2024-09-17

pseudorandom acts of kindness (all my altruistic behavior is the result of
mersenne twister):

## 2024-09-18

she sapir on my cognitive abilities till i whorf

## 2024-10-15

__why did the journal reject the AI music paper?__

it had a terrible baseline

## 2024-10-19

Rust is NOT memory-safe!! I learned it this january and forgot all of it!

## 2024-10-23

a man walked disapprovingly out of an IVF museum.

"come on, that could have made my son!"

## 2024-10-23

dynamic memory in dance machines manufactured in east germany

it's the DDR DDR DDR

## 2024-10-24

network failure 🤝 hate mail

resent packet

## 2024-10-24

who named it "chemtrail" and not "farter jet"

## 2024-10-25

rustaceans can have a little interface, as a trait

## 2024-10-26

tired: christian library

wired: biblary

## 2024-10-30

__how do i become a girl three times as fast__

IEEE

## 2024-11-02

who named it "software bug" and not "putergeist"

## 2024-11-04

🎵 help me bowdlerize help me bowdlerize help me out🎵

🎵 shakespeare and i we got a lot of problems🎵

## 2024-11-05

eee e eee e eee

its a party at the usb

## 2024-11-05

correct horse battery staple

voting complimentary werewolf swag

## 2024-11-13

taceau belle

## 2024-11-13

queer manicure? you mean bassist fingers?

## 2024-11-14

DIE Gabel? DAS Messer? DER Teller? my kitchen table is NOT a gender reveal
party

## 2024-11-22

in my bedded room, straight up staying "it". by it, lets just say. haha,
well. up late

## 2024-11-24

>plug in hdmi cable  
>amdgpu: monitor? what monitor?  
>plug in hdmi cable but the other way  
>amdgpu: enjoy your Dell® Ultrasharp™ U2722DE

electric engineering can't be real

## 2024-11-24

pronouncing "woke" like /ˌwəʊˈkeɪ/

## 2024-11-28

November 30 is the last day of NNN. it is called Wanksgiving

## 2024-11-30

Bluetooth Low Energy GYATT server

## 2024-12-01

__caps__

[March 2024]  
twenty one pilots: *release Next Semester*  
me: I'm nowhere near cooked, this song is unrelatable

[April 2024]  
me: CAN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU'VE DONE START FRESH NEXT SEMESTER

[August 2024]  
me: ok last semester was torture i will start fresh on this one

[December 2024]  
me: CAN'T CHAN-

## 2024-12-07

planet telex when asteroid hemorrhoid enters the room:

## 2024-12-11

the epipen is mightier than the episword

## 2024-12-16

__cursed radio modulation__

PSK (Polarization Shift Keying)

## 2024-12-20

stop self-deprecating language!

instead of saying  
"my existence is a joke"

try saying  
"i was born a comedian"

## 2024-12-25

Arsch Linux

## 2024-12-26

__i spilled spaghetti on a qwertz keyboard.__

jetzt habe ich eine Pastatur.

## 2024-12-27

application/octet-stream? get on with the griftosphere. it's now called
application/x-content

## 2025-01-02

:blobcatreeeeeee: the daily mail

:blobcatgay: the daily male

## 2025-01-08

lgtm (looks gay to me)

## 2025-01-11

introducing IOMO (indifference of missing out)

## 2025-01-18

neurodivergent gnu/linux users starter pack

- FreeADHD
- LibreAutism

## 2025-01-23

Hot Magnetic Monopoles In Your Area

## 2025-01-29

i found a 0-click deanonymization attack that allows me to locate any
internet user within a 6371 km radius

## 2025-02-04

cash is just treasury gift cards

## 2025-02-06

>buy code optimizations for time  
>time ./a.out  
>actually less time

this is bullshit

## 2025-02-17

Zarathustra fans be like

🔥🗣️ he spake

## 2025-02-21

bus driver been blasting gospel rock and all i hear is "jesus you wank me
on my soul"