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authorFrederick Yin <fkfd@fkfd.me>2023-07-30 23:42:26 +0800
committerFrederick Yin <fkfd@fkfd.me>2023-07-30 23:42:26 +0800
commitc19e0a9cf5ad2999176f3bac37214c97534bff85 (patch)
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New post: shitpost/cringiest_song
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+# Cringiest song I've ever heard
+
+2023-07-30
+
+Many songs are cringe, so much as to become a meme. This blogpost is about
+none of that. It is about a song that is cringe to _me_, even though
+I only ever heard it once.
+
+Cue ten-year-old me. My elementary school took all the students to
+a theater. It was probably Teacher's Day, hence the afternoon off. There
+was neither movie or play, just an assortment of performances to varying
+degrees of entertainment. If I remember correctly, there was a magician
+who claims to be related to Liu Qian. I had no idea what she was doing.
+
+At some point the host (That Guy) decided to sing an ode to our teachers.
+It was a rendition of a very mainstream pop song. I did not know, but
+I was about to hear _the_ cringiest song. The verse is some generic pickup
+lines and the chorus goes (translated):
+
+> My beloved teacher, I love you
+> Let me walk into your world, and be together with you
+> My beloved teacher, I love you
+> I will do anything for you forever, in this life and the next
+
+At this point we discovered that this was exactly the original song, but
+with the word "teacher" instead of "girl". Not only that, we were all
+asked to sing along to the "I love you". I might have cooperated (oops).
+What's worse, the teachers were present, which adds to the cringe factor.
+
+By changing one word, That Guy managed to transform an otherwise innocent
+romantic song into pure horror. Let me clarify. I do _not_ want to walk
+into my teacher's world. I do _not_ want to be "together" with my
+teachers. They're real nice, yeah, but that doesn't mean I will "do
+anything" or reincarnate myself for them, no thanks.
+
+The whole theater was filled to the brim with cringe. I wonder how they
+approved that song. They had one program to celebrate Teacher's Day, and
+they celebrated in the worst way possible.
+
+The difference between this song and memes is that memes are funny. It's
+just cringe. And it is no longer possible to recreate it. I can tell this
+story to you as a joke, and you'd be like, "haha, the song sure is
+terrible", but you can't experience the damage it did to a pool of kids.
diff --git a/docs/shitpost/index.md b/docs/shitpost/index.md
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--- a/docs/shitpost/index.md
+++ b/docs/shitpost/index.md
@@ -12,3 +12,4 @@ precious time you could've spent more wisely elsewhere:
- [The Egg is Flat](flat_egg)
- [Haiku collection 2](haiku_2)
- [Writing A Blogpost Without Using Backspace](no_backspace)
+- [Cringiest song I've ever heard](cringiest_song)