furry/mosfet-an-interview: why am i doing this 💀💀💀

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 # Mosfet: An Interview
 
-2024-09-08
+2024-09-09
 
 > Per responsible blogging practices, I am obligated to tell you that this
 > is not an actual interview that happened. But for the following five
@@ -77,36 +77,41 @@ Would you like to share your story?
 
 A. It wasn't my decision. It was entirely Rix's fault.
 
-Q. Would you care to elaborate?
+(Clears throat) The story begins in August. I was chilling in Duderstadt,
+first floor collab area, doing human things. Then I noticed a poster on
+the wall.
 
-A. OK, you know Duderstadt? The North Campus library thing. It was August,
-completely normal day. I was chilling on a table between the design labs,
-doing human things.
+![Rix, a grey wolfdog with turquoise hair points at the camera. The
+caption goes "I want you for the furry
+club"](img/mosfet-an-interview/rix-poster.jpg)
 
-Then I noticed a poster on the wall. I was like "holy \*\*\*\* no way
-that's a furry" and took a closer look. You bet your sweet \*\*\* it was
-Rix's \*\*\*\*\*\* head. It says "I want YOU for the furry club" because
-Americans are extremely creative. But things were not so simple. It was
-apparently a carefully orchestrated plan to make me furry, and by looking
-at the poster, I've fallen right in their trap.
+(Editor's note: we searched through Frederick's camera while he was in the
+bathroom and found the poster he was talking about)
 
-The furries have mastered telepathic mind control. In the next few days,
-Rix's curse took a grip hold of my life. I could not stop thinking about
-furries: on the bus, in the classroom, even in bed, like there was no past
-nor future, only the present in an eternity of furries. He hath me
-enchanted, ye gods, he hath me possessed!
+I was like "holy \*\*\*\* no \*\*\*\*\*\*\* way that's a furry!!1!" As
+I stepped closer, Rix's menacing stare penetrated into my soul. The slogan
+goes, "I want YOU for the furry club", because you can always count on
+Americans to come up with creative slogans after the WWI.
 
-On Wednesday, I lost all control of my body — I was like a puppet under
-his manipulation, all my bones and muscles — they took me on a Commuter
-South, which drove me to Festifall, where they showed their true forms on
-booth A24.
+Nevertheless, it worked. It was apparently a carefully orchestrated scheme
+of mind control to make me furry, and with just a glimpse at the poster,
+I've fallen right in their trap.
 
-Under mind control, I struck a conversation and asked for a photo with
-Rix. He bit me in the neck, 'tis but a sting; little did I know that he
-has rabies, good heavens! I figure he must've given me furriotoxin, and
-that's how I became furry.
+In the next few days, Rix's curse took a grip hold of my life. I could not
+stop thinking about furries: on the bus, in the classroom, even in bed;
+into their paws I have commended my spirit.
 
-Q. That's such a wonderful story, but what's furriotoxin?
+It was Wednesday when I lost all control of my body — I was a puppet, all
+my bones and muscles held hostage by the furries — they pushed me aboard
+a wicked wagon, the so-called Kommuter Sauth — it drove me to the
+Zentralercampustransitszentrum, not far from which Festifall was held.
+
+I recognized him in an instant — he was more fluffy than the poster had
+shown, and extremely cute — but the sweetest snout has the sharpest tooth,
+for he hath rabies! He bit me right in my neck — next thing I knew,
+I became a furry, for the furriotoxin has infiltrated my bloodstream.
+
+Q. Wait, what's furriotoxin?
 
 A. It's a toxin that makes you furry. Have you watched zombie movies? It's
 like that. There is no cure.
@@ -181,10 +186,10 @@ A. Salmon, heavy metal, cuddles.
 
 Q. Three things he hates?
 
-A. Cilantro, roller coasters, gym class.
+A. Sparkling water, roller coasters, gym class.
 
 Q. His favorite band?
-❚
+
 A. System Of A Down.
 
 Q. That tracks. Next question: Did you watch _Zootopia_?