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diff --git a/docs/music/at-the-risk-of-feeling-dumb.md b/docs/music/at-the-risk-of-feeling-dumb.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1e3c7e2 --- /dev/null +++ b/docs/music/at-the-risk-of-feeling-dumb.md @@ -0,0 +1,280 @@ +# At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb + +"At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb" (ATR hereafter) is the second-to-last track +on twenty one pilots' 2024 record, _Clancy_. I've discussed it in [Review +of _Clancy_ (2024)](clancy_review.md) that it + +>Starts off like circus music, but I feel it's the most serious song on +>the record. It tells you to check on your friends' mental health, no +>matter what they say — even at the risk of feeling dumb. + +>It's also the track that "sounds like them" and "feels like them". They +>spread a message, like "Neon Gravestones". The strongest track, and +>energetic as well. + +So naturally given the comically long summer break, I am gonna cover it. +From scratch. + +The goal of this cover is not to reproduce the original; instead, I opted +to be more creative with sounds and arrangement. + +While you read, you can open my [Faircamp](/jam) in a new tab and hit +play. + +## What's in the song? + +Oh boy. + +Since it's from scratch, I could not reuse stems or sample the original. +This endeavor ended up being my most complicated audio project ever. There +are 52 tracks. Fifty-two. Ardour lags as I scroll up and down. + +A synopsis: + +- Synths: lead, 4 pads, vibraphone, harp, high-pitched hum +- Drums: 808, Black Pearl (plugin), and a real snare drum +- Vocals: main, falsetto, lofi, tenor, and rap +- Autotune for each pitched vocal track +- Ukulele: some with fuzz effects +- Bass, where one track is shifted one octave up to emulate guitar +- Samples: see below + +### Samples + +I had to be creative with household items. + +- 0:00 - Cassette player +- 0:21 - Vernier calipers +- 0:22 - Spray bottle +- 0:55 - 2.54mm pin headers sliding against edge of table +- 0:56 - Ziploc of CR2032 battery holders (sounds like sleighbells) +- 2:12 - Two pencils +- 2:24 - Nitrile glove + +## Timeline + +I recorded ATR over 13 studio sessions (in my bedroom) in total. Eleven +were in the first half of June. Then I procrastinated two weeks. Then +I picked up where I left in early July. + +Rather unconventionally, I recorded the track one part at a time, rather +than laying out a complete backing track before vocals. When I was +recording Chorus 2, for example, everything following that was blank. +Thus, I had no idea where I was going. I came up with most of the creative +ideas halfway. + +Notable inspirations: + +- The intro is sung along to tøp's "Friend, Please" (which carries the + same message as ATR) +- "Nude" by Radiohead inspired the slap-like, one-octave-up bassline you + hear in Chorus 2 thru 4 +- Original Verse is a commentary on _Clancy_'s track listing +- I yanked the last bar of drums from "Levitate" + +## Technical details + +### Chord progression + +Really simple song in terms of chord progression. Everything is G-Em-Bm-D +except the post-chorus where it's G-Em-Bm-A-D. Turned out challenging as +I had to improvise rhythmically to make the same chords interesting over +and over again. + +### Mic rig + +Mom bought a phone tripod with a swing arm. The threaded hole on the phone +clip is identical to that on the mic holder, so naturally, up it went. No +more stacking boxes under the short-ass mic stand. + +I had no windshield so I improvised with a napkin wrapped around the wire +mesh tied with a rubber band. Can't keep out the hard P's though, so I had +to automate the fader. + +### Balanced cable + +I bought a balanced XLR cable to replace the XLR-quarter inch cable my mic +came with. The noise disappeared like the money in my wallet. 5/5 would +buy again. + +### Drums + +I used three drum kits in a single song. + +OK, one of them is a single snare drum I practiced on when I was 12. +Played with Trench-era Josh Dun drumsticks. You can hear it in Chorus +2 and Post-Chorus 1. I did not record the rest on the drum, because my +neighbor might complain. + +One day I was cleaning out some junk at my late great-grandparents' house +when I found my old electronic drumkit. I brought home the console, the +snare drum, and all the cables. With some hackery involving a MIDI-to-USB +adaptor I was able to record drums with real drumsticks. But I did not +because the drum pads worked just fine. + +The Black Pearl kit was a late addition. Before that, I used a built-in +kit, but the snare lacked punch, and the crash is just not wet enough. +Luckily, I have a few drumkits installed for unknown reasons, and this +Black Pearl kit blew my mind. + +### Pedal + +There's a pair of pedal switches (cost like 10 CNY each) I bought back in +2019 for a kinetic game I made (which didn't work, btw). So I soldered the +wires to a cable with a quarter inch tip-ring plug so that the contacts +short when I stomp it. It functions as a sustain pedal for my keyboard and +hihat open-close control for the drum kit. Neither turned out useful but +they sound cool. + +### Ukulele + +Didn't have the money to buy a condenser mic so it is what it is. + +### EQ & compressor + +I recorded the kick, snare, hihat and other cymbals on separate tracks so +they have different EQs. I used "Calf Equalizer 5 Band". The kick is +lowpassed and sidechained to many other tracks (such as bass) to compress +them so they don't muddle the 60 Hz range. + +### Autotune + +Yes, my vocals are autotuned. The plugin is "x42-Autotune". To avoid +sounding like an unnamed rap star, I had to keep the correction ratio +below 0.6. For each group of pitched vocal tracks singing the same melody, +I have a MIDI track for the autotune plugin to refer to. + +Sometimes I sing off-key so bad I have to do another take. And sometimes +the autotune overreacts so I have an automation track to taper down the +correction ratio temporarily. + +### Cassette player + +The click and whirr you hear at the beginning are a real AKAI cassette +player. I wish it worked. If it worked, I could have run my vocals through +an aux cable on tape and played it back to achieve physical lo-fi. + +### Album cover + +I reused assets from the recent reflow workshop 2. The color scheme is +inspired by _Clancy_ itself, and the title typesetting is inspired by +Radiohead's _In Rainbows_ (2007). The smoke is [a photo by Tigerzeng on +Wikimedia +Commons](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Candle_smoke_structure_1.jpg). + +## Tools used + +### Software + +- Ardour: arrangement, recording, production +- Helm: synths +- Calf: plugins +- Black Pearl Drumkit: plugin +- Guitarix: plugins +- x42: plugins +- Krita: album cover +- Inkscape: album cover + +### Hardware + +- Interface: Behringer UMC22 +- Headphones: Audio-Technica ATH-M20x +- Keyboard: AKAI MPK mini play +- Mic: Shure PGA48 +- Bass: Ibanez GSR200 +- Ukulele: second-hand "Nalu", model unknown +- Drumsticks: Zildjian Josh Dun "Trench" artist series +- Snare drum: Majestic AK14D + +## Lyrics + +Yanked from Genius. Differences: + +- Added Intro +- I keep saying "on my lowest" instead of "at my lowest" +- Added Original Verse +- Numbered Choruses and Post-Choruses +- Minute changes in backing vocals + +[Intro] +I don't want anyone to drop anything for me + +[Chorus 1] +I don't want anyone, know me or not +See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop, drop, drop Don't have to +drop by Nothin' you can do this time I don't want anyone, know me or not +See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop Drop, drop, drop anything +for me Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop + +[Verse 1] +Used to be you and me, matching Kawasaki Zs +Ride around 270 in Kawasaki tees +Two fighter jets matching energy +Trying to forget that we're in ejection seats + +[Pre‐Chorus] +So please, keep it in mind +Check on your friends +Every once in a while +Even if they say + +[Chorus 2] +I don't want anyone, know me or not +See mе [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop, drop, drop +Don't have to drop by +Nothin' you can do this timе +I don't want anyone, know me or not +See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop +Drop, drop, drop anything for me +Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop +(Drop, drop, drop) + +[Post-Chorus 1] +At the risk of feelin' dumb, check in +It's not worth the risk of losin' a friend +Even if they say +"Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop" + +[Original Verse] +I can read your mind man, where is Tyler's verse man? +Chill, let me have some words of my own man +The new record, it's called Clancy +On a scale of Trench, I'd say that it's a ninety +Can't forgive The Craving so close to Lavish +Your eyes are steamin' up? Here comes a colonoscopy +Upbeat (yeah), down thoughts (nah), guess it's called tradition +Thank you for your patience, program resumes shortly + +[Verse 2] +If I'm bein' real, man, don't know how I feel, man +'Bout you sleepin' so close to a weapon you conceal, man +Those night terrors are not somethin' to take lightly +I know that it's a risk sayin' this, don't fight me +(Stoppin' me, fight me) +(Stoppin' me, fight me) +(Stoppin' me, fight me) + +[Chorus 3] +I don't want anyone, know me or not +See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop, drop, drop +Don't have to drop by +Nothin' you can do this time +I don't want anyone, know me or not +See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop +(Drop, drop, drop) Anything for me +(Stopping me, stopping me, stopping me) +Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop + +[Post-Chorus 2] +At the risk of feelin' dumb, check in +It's not worth the risk of losin' a friend +Even if they say +"Just keep your plans, I hope that you never have to drop" + +[Chorus 4] +I don't want anyone, know me or not +See me [on] my lowest, you don't have to drop +Drop, drop, drop anything +For me + +[Outro] |